Outreach is one of the forms of support which the Option Institute offers to
families running their Son-Rise programmes. Son-Rise teacher travels to the
family and goes through everything what they need. We were thinking about the
outreach, but in long-term horizon. But after Robin stopped
eating and drinking and we had to go through unexpected tortures in
hospitals, we were offered the outreach very promptly.
The great advantage of the outreach is not only personal attitude when Son-Rise
teacher engages to us, our program and our problems, but mainly the fact that
Son-Rise teacher is something different that Son-Rise child facilitator.
Teacher is able to work not only with the child, but also with the parents. It
maybe does not sound so important, but it is crucial. The parent is one who
creates home atmosphere, who leads the program, the parent is the most
important source for the child. If he/she is not OK, program is not effective.
Molly came to us for two days and it were beautiful two days.
She worked more with us than with Robin, but this was exactly what we wanted
and needed. It is a paradox, but we even didn't asked her to work mainly on his
not eating and drinking. We are clear in it. What was more important for us was
how to come into state when we are able to do what we want to do. That means to
investigate causes of our unhappiness, to come into state when we are content -
and then we have a possibility to really go for what we want, without stress,
without pressing him, without being dependent on his changing.
What we did with Molly:
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she gave us (Maggie and me) feedbacks on our playing with Robin,
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we had private dialogs with her in which we were looking for roots of our
unhappiness,
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unbelievably effective was feedback on feedback - Maggie gave feedback to our
volunteer, Molly listened and then gave Maggie feedback on feedback,
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besides that, there was also Q & a time for our volunteers,
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and of course, Molly played with Robin in the playroom.
All this time was unbelievably contributing. For me personally, the great
experience was to feel (again) the true Option attitude: loving attitude
without judgements not only towards Robin, but also towards us. It is crucial
in feedback or in dialog not to judge and not to assume things; the question is
really a question, not expressing a judgement. It is hard to say it in words,
it is something to live. We are very grateful for this possibility - to have
the outreach with Molly. Thanks to all who supported us, thanks to Molly and
thanks to the Option Institute.
And what next: it is up to us whether we apply what we have learned. Whether we will
work on ourselves, whether we take the opportunity given by Robin to grow
somewhere where we want to be. Our program continues. We don't know if Robin
will progress or if it is better for everybody if he stays where he is. But we
will do everything for him and for his moving among us.